The Perfect Day For Her
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh-in 2kgs lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed – freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents – expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, amusing personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café
12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained 17kgs
1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk – says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe
7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers
10:00 Hot shower – alone
10:50 Carried to bed. Freshly ironed, crisp white linen
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms
The Perfect Day For Him
6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast – steak and eggs, coffee and toast – all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en route to the airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)
11:45 Lunch-steak and lobster, three beers and bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine (4 under)
2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot showing their growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) – on light tackle
5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over showing her growler, naturally)
6:45 Shit, shower and shave
7:00 Watch news – Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 Dinner – lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 Night-cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note four times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep
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